Meet Shamsa Sharawe, our new Community Ambassador and emerging GBV activist
Trigger Warning: rape, domestic abuse and FGM/C
“I am Shamsa Sharawe. I am a survivor of female genital cutting (known as FGM), forced marriage, domestic violence and so-called “honour-based” abuse. I am a mother, an activist and a social entrepreneur.
I moved to the UK with my parents when I was 7. I grew up in the UK, but my household felt quite controlled. I lived in two different societies in the same country and I struggled with my identity.
When I finished high school and was preparing for college, I was 17 and at this point, was for many years physically and emotionally abused by my family who didn’t like the fact that I was behaving in a way they didn’t approve. My family wanted me to be covered head to toe even though this isn’t what I wanted, they didn’t care for my education but I was only going to school simply because it is illegal not to send your children to school in the UK. My father was paranoid about me having sex from a very young age even though I was cut at the age of 6 and was sewed up. I felt like there was no place for me to turn to and no one picked up the signs of my distress even though I have attempted suicide three times at this point so I finally gave in to the pressure and decided to do things their way.
I went to Somalia with my mother to be “re-cultured”. My mother was an abused and brainwashed woman. She took my passport back to the UK and she did it so I couldn’t leave the country or have it stolen from me. Within a few days of arriving in my homeland, was forced to witness a man’s hand being cut off in front of me by a terrorist organisation and a few days after this incident my uncle came to pick me up and took me to his city making me believe he was only me taking me away so that I could be safer with his family.
After I moved to his house, soon enough it became apparent to me that I was there to be married off. My cousin who was also a child (15) was invited to my uncle’s house to meet his future wife - me, even though I had no idea of what was planned for me. I refused to marry him but none of my words was taken seriously, it’s like I didn’t have a voice. My uncle threatened to have me locked up in a prison run by a terrorist organisation where I would be tortured until I conformed, and he also told me that he would put my photos at every checkpoint in Somalia, making my escape impossible. I tried to call the British Embassy but because I didn’t have any credit on my sim card and I didn’t know any other free number to call, I couldn’t and soon enough my phone was taken away from me by my uncle and I lost all chances. I was prisoned in the house, trapped in my own country and couldn’t go anywhere to seek help and no one in the UK was looking for me, including my teachers or neighbours. My friends who knew my situation from our Facebook group tried to raise money for my flight and help me but they couldn’t help as they were all children and also because they were unaware of services available to children such as Childline. I lost touch with my friends too when my phone was taken away and after four months after me arriving in Somalia thinking I was going to learn about my parents’ culture, I was lied to, traumatised, made a modern slave and married off. My mother didn’t know what was happening to me and she was being lied to by the family.
I was forced to stay in the marriage I never consented to for six months without access to the outside world. Throughout this marriage, I have been raped and beaten on a daily basis and not allowed medical attention. The last time he beat me up, I begged the neighbours to give me their phone to call my mother and I called my mum, explained to her partly what was happening to me apart from the rape because I knew she had many serious health issues and I didn’t want to cause her too much distress in fear of losing her. She helped me make an escape plan and spoke to my “husband” to send me to the hospital to seek urgent attention. He allowed me to go to the hospital as I made him believe if he let me get medical attention, I would be a “better wife”. I took a bus straight to Mogadishu where my mother arranged for me to meet her sisters and after a difficult journey, they helped me escape. My brother who was in his late twenties at the time came to pick me up from the UK with my passport and after a nearly year-long nightmare in Somalia, I finally came back to the UK where my silence continued.”
Shamsa lost her mother to aggressive brain tumours the same month she arrived back in the UK and that year hasn’t gone back to school as she planned. The trauma she has been through and lack of support when she needed help the most, prevented Shamsa from rejoining her life. Instead, she has paved her own path…
Shamsa’s journey of seeking justice & support
“As a Muslim woman, I wanted to seek support from religious leaders and I went around multiple mosques around North West London requesting a religious divorce because at the time I didn’t know the meaning of forced marriage or consent and getting divorced in my religion was important to me. After the mosque leaders shut me down because they haven’t spoken to my husband and they didn’t want to believe my situation without his word, I gave up feeling hopeless. One day my sister came to me and said “you are a divorced woman because this religious marriage was never real, it was forced” she also called my “husband” and told him she would be my witness for the divorce, he then said “I divorce Shamsa Sharawe”, and that this so-called religious marriage was over. I felt so relieved but because I never received any support from religious leaders, I felt failed purely based on my gender. The council told me I made myself purposely homeless although I told them I wasn’t in the country when I lost my housing and I had no choice after years of moving from house to house and facing hardship. I decided to move outside London because it would be easier for me to survive with the cost of living even though I knew no one outside London or anywhere else. I had my daughter in 2014 and moved to Lancashire in 2015 with her having no support from her father, his or my family, or anyone.
“I was a young woman who faced multiple forms of gender-based violence and social injustice from day one of my life. Then I was failed by the whole of society.”
I have been to multiple organisations, hospitals, councils, and social services and even my college staff and people turned a blind eye to the issues I was facing. After years of surviving as a single mother and being a survivor of multiple forms of gender-based violence, I decided to speak up and share my story so that no one else had to live my story. I stopped waiting for help and decided to be the help I needed when I was going through many forms of abuse. I started my own business Garden Locks. I produce all plant-based cosmetic products and 25% of all proceeds go to my organisation that I have also founded, Garden of Peace. My mother’s name is Gani and it means my garden in Hebrew and she is buried in the Gardens of Peace Cemetery in London. I want to carry on my mother’s name through my business and organisation and her story as she won’t be able to tell it herself anymore also her struggles of trying to save me from many forms of abuse she has also faced. My organisation aim to provide direct services and support to survivors of gender-based abuse.”
Thank you for reading Shamsa’s story. To book Shamsa for an event or a speaking engagement, please contact her at info@gardenlocks.co.uk
Image left: Shamsa at our recent support hub, capturing the stories of some of the other activists there. She has an incredible talent at making people feel comfortable behind the camera.
Visit Shamsa’s organisation on gardenofpace.co.uk and her business at gardenlocks.co.uk
Instagram: @shamsaaraweelo
Visit Shamsa’s rapidly growing TikTok page on @shamsa.araweelo
Credit
Storyteller: Shamsa Sharawe
Interview Author: Sema Gornall
Brand and Image Designer: Megan Barclay
If you or someone you know is at risk of forced marriage or already in a forced marriage, please contact UK Forced Marriage Unit for help. All numbers can be found on: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/forced-marriage
If you or someone you know is in danger of, or has already been subjected to FGM/C, domestic violence, modern slavery or rape, please call the police on 999 in an emergency, and 101 for non-emergency help.
If you would like to know what your rights are and learn more about which services are available to you, please email us at: info@thevavengers.co.uk
If you found this blogpost distressing or triggering, please visit our wellness page to learn about methods of meditation & wellness: www.thevavengers.co.uk/wellness
“When women rise, we all rise.”